Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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