Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Damn victory sex feels great
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
