i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
