U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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