Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
