phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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