Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
