not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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