yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
