Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
