i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
