there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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