Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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