Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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