Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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