I didn't shave. On purpose
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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