I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
