yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
