I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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