I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
