is your mom at the bar?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize