my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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