new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
