Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
