Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
