Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Vodka?
Forever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
