i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
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I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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