He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
