You work out of a Hotel?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
