I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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