shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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