hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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