either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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