Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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