he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize