I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
