I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
