So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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