So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
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Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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