we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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