wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
