Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
