I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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