Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
