You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
