..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
