no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
