he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
