I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
