You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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