when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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