we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You ruined the universe
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
