who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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