So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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