Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize