my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
