i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
