It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
