I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
