Jerry, you need to find god
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
