Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
