My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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