My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
