Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
