One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
